My firstChristmas all over again

So the holidays come and they go. Presents come and expectations grow.
I wake early tip toeing out of my room hoping not to wake the parental units. You see, this year more than any I have questions. Thoughts that up until Thursday of last week I was never concerned with. You see my own realization has tainted my view of this totally awesome day.
Was it the secret of Christmas that motivated me all of these 9 years.? Was it the chance that I was actually gonna get what I asked for this year, the wind behind my sails?
I dunno. I’m nine…
Truthfully, I believe that the magic lies within my parent’s hands and hearts. Their words last week comforted me and my dads take on the "Secret Club" – a club whose members know the truth about Santa and whose job it is to protect those who don’t - was a valiant attempt at maintaining my innocence. The life long deception was not the reason for my unending tears nor was the fear of getting fewer parcels under my tree. Basically I have an understanding that the kid in me is moving forward, especially if, the topic is girls, politics or sports. I would love to have the knowledge that my parents have. Painfully, it's clear to me now I had to move on from that day to get to this day.
So I sit at the bottom of the stairs leading to my own personal Wal-mart. I can catch a glimpse of what looks like golf clubs. I see stockings traditionally placed on the mantle strewn about our couch. I climb another stair just to prolong my now overwhelming excitement. I sit back down and wonder "could I just go back down to my bed and wake a week or so ago?" when my realization was not even a thought. I know my parents would like this. I know that my brain doesn’t work in reverse and I also know that while I sit here pontificating about my recent discovery, the presents that my parents always put so much thought and effort into are awaiting me a just few short feet away.
I shout "Merry Christmas" at the top of my lungs just to let them know that I know my Christmas future is safe in their hands and hearts and that I will do my part to embrace my role as the new CEO of the "Secret Club".

Working the Relationship

I sit across the table from two of my closest friends, wondering why? How does something on the surface that looked so strong for so long, now be a broken mirage or a shadow of its former self.
Pain, trust and ultimately love are the key components of any serious adult relationship. While not being an expert, I have a hard time with the emphasis on sex in a committed love relationship. Sex can be awkward at times and dutiful at others.
Sex has a way of being the catalyst for the demise of a couple. If it’s made it to the adultery stage then there were likely warning signs so evident that the same blind love that moved both parties at the relationships inception, become the same blinders during this tumultuous and non-serendipitous time.
Relationships have been based on controllable factors, kids, school, finances, timing, change and other life responsibilities. There are also uncontrollable factors, like raw animalistic heat, positive energy and deep attraction physical - both emotional and intellectual. These factors have always had to work in conjunction with each other
Couples being right for each other find a away to move forward and show a willingness to succeed.
People need to feel needed, but when kids and family dynamics change, needs for both change and only together will couples find that balance or "euphoric glow".
Perfection is unattainable and bumps along the road are almost inevitable. Couples need to strive through these road blocks, rise above their own egos and go beyond their personal comfort levels to create something worth working at. This is not something that comes from dreams and hallucinations.
I have never subscribed to the belief that being apart is a great remedy to aid healing. Be
together or don’t. Your love and where the relationship stands should be only a concern of the couple in question: you.
Love is not a masquerade . It’s not some circus to be viewed as entertainment like the latest reality show. Love is private and personal and how it’s dealt with should be individually motivated and respected by everyone who bear witness.

Coaching

I wake up every winter morning and go through my list of things i have to do in regards to supporting my son's dreams of playing in the NHL. Maybe I should start by making him breakfast.

Firstly let me start by saying, I am in a unique situation as I have had the honor of coaching my little guy since day one.

As a coach for many years I have often said that parents ruin hockey for the kids. I truly hope, they can never say that about me.

Why must we as parents thrust our negativity and our un-educated and certainly biased opinions on our children when it comes to the game or how its played or how they are being coached.

Most of us coaches have dedicated thousands of hours to this task , lumped in with our regular responsibilities.

We as coaches volunteer for this gig, at times a thankless and under appreciated position. We do this without the need for parental praise or accolades . We do this firstly for the kids, ours and theirs. We do it for our love of the game, almost blind passion for this frozen playground.

We as coaches need to push in the direction our children/players want to go. We need to cheer when they stumble and grimace when they feel pain. Embrace their victories and educate from their losses. Lessons not easily taught and messages not always well received,but the responsibility is ours and a choice we as coaches made to be active and present in the lives of these young athletes. To coach is a gift and and i thank all parents for allowing us this valuable and precious time with their children

Most of the coaches I have coached with (20 years worth), have been parents and carry the burden of being both coach and dad.

It is a place if honor in my mind and the most pleasurable thing available to this humble dad.

Beauty in the Eyes of the Beholder?

Beauty in the eyes of the Beholder?
When we imagine beauty, what is the benchmark we use?
The way a woman is shaped, the tone in her voice, the sway of her back, the glint in her evenly spaced eyes. Maybe it is a sense of beauty or an understanding by her that she is beautiful therefore she emits the correct amount of pheromones into the universe.
Is it an action or a tangible commodity?
If I cannot see, can I appreciate the essence of it all?
Do I imagine a 10 being just that?
I smile when I hear her voice. I get a toothy grin when someone says her name.
When she holds our son and looks into his eyes, there is almost nothing more beautiful.
Many times I have seen her be kind and people are kind in return this must be a form of beauty.
Her eyes and the passionate look that only I have seen, true beauty.
A heartfelt caress and an inviting smile. The way she cries when her heart has been moved, obviously a beautiful moment.
Truthfully I want to elaborate on definitions of beauty, but when I imagine the word, action, action or feeling. I get side tracked and of course because I only imagine her.
If beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder; then it must be true, and I must be beholding

The Migraine

Migraines. Some medical pundits feel that these cranial anomalies can be caused by stress, bananas, weather changes, bad pillows, bad lighting or even some smells. Some of these same doctor types feel that these afflictions may be more psychological than physical.
Truthfully, after suffering these for many years and having watched many others much like myself limp along while the blades of steel run through their eyes, I feel that the only explanation that I can embrace as accurate and diagnostically correct is this: "It is all in your head"

Flames, Fans and Forums

Blow em up , a weak hearted response to another tough start to a season of promise for the Calgary Flames. Fans hurling themselves off the "Bandwagon" . Announcers and Fan 960 staff using, self directing forums about the current and certain of the Flames core and the unbearable lack of foresight by a team with no real management,coaching or player type leaders manning the oars . I am a fan for 82 games a year and my son would Be a fan 84 games a year (haven't in fected him with my Leaf pride yet), Can somebody tell what that means ? to be a fan of a professional team ....
Ya they get paid....
Ya it is an un-imaginable amount ...
Ya they are treated as heros by our children....
Ya they are larger than life...

So should we feel sorry for them? NOPE
Should we compare them to an animal that has an incurable disease and put them out of their own misery? NOPE
Should we put ourselves in their shoes , to try and get and understanding of their lives? NOPE


My thoughts on being a fan come from the definition i found on the web: An ardent devotee; an enthusiast.
We need to take ourselves back to when we became fans and when we subsequently picked our teams for life. We need to listen to cynical fan 960 afternoon hosts less and feel the passion of our children more. I have now taken to turning of the afternoon hockey program on the Fan 960. An opinion is one thing but the rhetoric has become almost blasphemous for the fans of this NHL team and the little fans don't need to hear it.
Lets just watch and appreciate our unique chance we have at supporting a team in this great city and stop giving our foes to the North More reason to mock our fans or our team

A Dad's Role

4:30am: "don't don't don't", comes from my boyz room. I jump , heart pounding, eyes blurry and my legs subconsciously carry me to his little safe haven. Tears stream down his face , he is looking at me but not at me, through me.
Whats up ? I say over and over again. No response just tears ....
I lean down , and after 5 minutes of talking to an incoherent 9 year old, I get a sense that he is actually waking from this traumatic dream.
He reaches out touches my head then my arm and says I'm okay dad , did ya have a bad dream. are you okay, want me to stay with you ? I smile and say ya buddy you stay with me .