The Power of the " Point"

The Power of the "Point"
I have spent a lot of time dwelling on my ability to prove a point.
This could be a situation where I argue, bully, condescend, and even stretch the truth, just to feel the false sense of power of being right. Why do we as head strong individuals feel the need to be the billboard of accuracy? Why do we strive to be the one true measurement of correctness? We almost always want to be the "go to person" with information, trivia , stats while being the foremost experts on love, relationships, and, my personal favorite, child rearing.
It is almost like a drug to me, when I have a conversation with the upper educated, to allow them the time to pontificate on every topic that his relevant to their chosen profession, or to have them explain to me why a square peg doesn’t fit into a round hole.
It’s not even about being right at that point. It’s about feeling "less than" or humiliated. So essentially I do my best to be informed or to at least present that I am.
It has to be about pride, right?
We all have it. We most likely feel anxiety and stimulation when it’s challenged. This too can be a dangerous feeling causing you to rant just to prove a point instead of the steady methodical"I know what I’m talking about" delivery.
Whether I’m talking or writing about what I believe to know or how I feel about a specific scenario or topic, I find that I can let the "pride thing" override the "fact thing". Passion for something should not put me so far beyond the point that my message is lost. But it has.
I feel sometimes that the art of presentation eludes me and my point is lost in the title page - as it were. So I have begun to step back a little, before I ruin what may be a valid thought or anecdote. This has taken some time, which my mother and wife could certainly attest to.
Being right is something that has and will continue to the bane of my existence. I know that my points are often valid and I also know that I need to find a way to understand and accept that I may be wrong or - at least - misinformed.
Pride has ruled my life and occasionally put me into corners that the only way out was to fight or flee: and flee is not really in my repertoire.
While striving for a euphoric "I’m always right and clearly you are wrong" existence, I have hit a few roadblocks. In retrospect I have learned much useless trivia and even some life lessons from my adversaries over the years. It is only now that I have learned to process and use that information to further my own ascension to the information thrown. Some would say it’s about time.
So my point is: Being correct, while satisfying, is much like losing your virginity. It’s way too short and somebody is clearly not going to be satisfied.

Being the Guy....

Being the guy: Choice, responsibility or false advertising?
I have spent 40 plus years working on my own personal take on so many things. Today I feel that it should be about the things I do and the things I should do... If I actually knew, would I be writing this?
A friend of mine said to me recently, "you don’t do anything for yourself."
So, I run through a list of things that weigh me down with responsibility and accountability and come up with things that I believe I do for myself. Painfully, it may be true. Eye opening as it is, I’m not prepared to give up things I do for my family, work place or outside agencies because I feel a huge sense of debt to them all.
Debt, in my mind, means that I must owe or at least be grateful for these things and the organizations which have allowed me to represent them. Clearly life is about family and representing, honoring, protecting and providing for them. This is a life long responsibility or debt that never gets paid up. This is the case for all of us.
I wonder if a mid life crisis revolves around responsibilities or the overwhelming urge to be remembered as "The Guy".
I am the guy. Truly. I feel that I represent organizations, friends, and family well.
I want to believe that this is enough, but I’m not sure. I don’t feel I need accolades or any monetary rewards or payment. "Atta boys" are usually fished for and not genuine, and, if I waited for all the paybacks from all those I’ve helped I would be waiting until my last days on this planet.
Something’s missing and I can’t pin point it. It’s frustrating and humbling because I always have the answers. I’m the guy. I should.
The time I spend with the people I care about seems to be more and more scarce. When I do, is the time I’m with them for me or for them? Is it "quality" if I am always distracted or mentally otherwise engaged?
At the very least, striving to make people (especially the two that matter to me the most) proud of me , I feel I have lost something . I wll touch on this as my journey continues, so keep reading.